I mentioned the other day my belief that the advice to carry as big of a gun as you can conceal generally comes from those who have a background in law enforcement and/or the military who, therefore, come to concealed carry thinking in offensive, rather than defensive, terms. It is a capture or destroy the enemy mindset rather than a stop or escape the enemy. Thus, I was pleased to happen across this article from Concealed Carry entitled "The Defensive-Only Mindset: Why Survival Beats Justice" which articulates the defensive mindset far batter than I could.
By "defensive-only" the author means "being focused on survival — your own, or the survival of innocent people you're defending — rather than bringing a threat to justice."
Said differently: a defensive-only person prioritizes the outcome where everyone they care about goes home alive. Anything beyond that is irrelevant. Not the focus or objective or mission.
That sounds obvious until you watch how often armed citizens drift away from it under pressure. The drift usually shows up in one of two places. Before the fight, where someone escalates a situation they could have walked away from. Or after the fight, where they keep engaging — pursuing, lecturing, or “making sure” — long past the point the threat ended.
Both of those are failures of mindset, not skill.
He explains that most armed citizens spend too much time in the middle of an armed encounter--the drawing and shooting of the weapon--but warns that "[t]he two most common failures don't happen in the middle. They happen at the edges." By this he means the ego trip, monkey dance, or however you want to characterize it that leads up to an unnecessary encounter (e.g., road rage); and trying to act like a cop after an incident. On the latter point, he writes:
Once the threat is neutralized, you have one job: get to a place where you can be safe and contact law enforcement. That's it. Following the bad guy “to keep an eye on him” is not your job. Standing over him and continuing to engage is not your job. Even if it feels like the right thing in the moment, it converts a clean defensive shooting into a mess your attorney is going to spend years trying to unwind.
He goes on to describe the behaviors of a defensive-only mindset, how to build it, and even gives a detailed real world example of defensive-only mindset, so be sure to read the whole thing.