You Might Be A Black Woman If ...

Comedian Jeff Foxworthy is famous for his "You might be a redneck ..." skit where he would describe some action or activity that would indicate that "you might be a redneck." I found myself thinking of Foxworthy's skit recently while reading an article by a black author calling herself Marley K., with the title, "Some Insulting Things A Lot of White People Do." In the article, Marley K. has a long list of inconsiderate or rude acts or behaviors that most any American adult probably experiences on a fairly regular basis. But Marley K. attributes these behaviors to racism directed at her because she is a black woman. After finishing her article, my thought was that people must think I'm a black woman because I get treated the same way. So, let's go through the list:

• If people lock their cars at the grocery store at which you shop ... you might be a black woman. 
• If a herd of white women walking down the sidewalk don't make room for you to pass ... you might be a black woman.
• If someone inconsiderately blocks a grocery aisle you want to use at the grocery store ... you might be a black woman.
• If a white woman grasps her purse more strongly as you brush by ... you might be a black woman.
• If a you get on an elevator with a lone white woman and she moves away from you or acts uncomfortable ... you might be a black woman.
• If another person in a store has ever asked you for assistance or mistook you for an employee ... you might be a black woman.
• If you've ever said "excuse me" to someone to get them to move, and they didn't immediately react ... you might be a black woman.
• If someone at your workplace has ever taken credit for one of your ideas ... you might be a black woman.
• If you have approached the children of strangers to try and talk to them and the children seem unsure or scared ... you might be a black woman.
• If anyone has ever tried to rewrite your nation's or culture's history ... you might be a black woman.
• If someone of another culture has ever "appropriated" clothing or hair styles, words or expressions, art or technology from your culture ... you might be a black woman.

Of course, unlike Foxworthy's act, there is no humor here because these are things that happen, or have happened, to all of us.

     The sad part of this is that Marley K., and many others like her, are what Gavin de Becker, in his book The Gift Of Fear, describes as a "Scriptwriter":

      The Scriptwriter is the type of person who asks you a question, answers it himself, then walks away angry at what you said. In this regard, he writes the script for his interaction with co-workers and management. In his script, he is a reasonable and good worker who must be constantly on guard against the ambushes of co-workers and supervisors. The things that go wrong are never his fault, and even accidental, unintended events are the work of others who will try to blame him. People are out to get him, period. And the company does nothing about it and doesn’t appreciate his contribution. 

     When you try to manage or reason with such a person, you find that he is not reacting to what you say but rather to what he expects you to say; he is reacting to his script. ...

De Becker does not have any ready solution for disabusing the Scriptwriter of his or her views, but merely suggests getting them out of your life or your business as quickly as possible.